Experience Unconditional Love All The Time with Elaine Starling

TAJ Intro/Outro: 00:00:10

The abundance journey explores all the ways abundance shows up to help you expand the abundance you embody Express and experience as your journey unfolds.

Elaine Starling: 00:00:28

Welcome, this is Elaine Starling, the abundance ambassador and the host of the abundance Journey podcast and video show. I'm so glad you could join me today. Because we're talking about something really important. It's called unconditional love. Let me give you a little background on something that happened to me recently, when I kind of got a short, sharp reminder about unconditional love. I had been to a really fun networking event with some fabulous people that I hadn't seen in years, and I had the best time catching up with people. I'm curious, I'm interested and I love celebrating other people. I activate abundance in every single conversation I have. So I celebrate in advance, it's so awesome to see you again. And I acknowledge, wow, that's really cool that you're working on a book or you've retired and having fun or whatever is going on in their life, I acknowledge something they're doing. And I appreciate the opportunities that creates for them. And then I activate abundance by asking them what other things are opening up for them, because they're doing this thing that's really exciting for them. And I celebrate them, this is awesome, you're doing so well. And look at how you're growing and the new skills that you're acquiring and the more fun that you're having. I activate abundance in every conversation. Well, it's really interesting to me, because I love being interested in other people and activating abundance with them. So that's what I do. And so here I am leaning in activating abundance, being interested, you know, stay interested and curious and supportive and empowering and loving. And it felt like I was talking to a whole bunch of black holes. Because you know, the thing that's so sad is that most people just don't get that kind of attention. They don't get the celebration of who they are. And even worse, they look for outside validation. And they view that as more important than the inside validation. What a shame. It's terrible. But yeah, but it's a human. Because I found that I was doing that too. I got a little snippy. And I had some conversations with my husband, I was like, man, you know, here I am. I'm showing up. I'm kidding. I'm loving. I'm doing all this great stuff. And they're just not really they're not very interested in me and what I'm doing, they don't ask me any questions. They're not, they're not leaning in for me. And I'm leaning in for them a whole way. What's wrong with this situation was really funny. We went out to dinner with a dear friend that we hadn't seen in a long time. And I was I was convincing a little bit about your I am showing up and and that's not coming back. And she said, Well, you know, that's the funny thing about unconditional love. It's unconditional. You get to give it and the beautiful thing about giving it is you are experiencing it as you give it. And by experiencing it, you are receiving it the same time you're giving it. And because you are in partnership with the divine, it makes perfect sense that giving is receiving, it's the exact same thing. And I just, I hadn't even gone there in my head. I know this intuitively, I know this in my heart. And like all human beings. It's really fun when you're surrounded with like minded people, and you take turns and you support each other. But there are so many people out there who are desperate for your love and your encouragement and your support and your validation. And it's really great when you can show up for them like that, because you are letting the divine flow through you as you in that moment. But I encourage you at the same time, I encourage you and I encourage you to recognize that what you're giving is what you're receiving at the exact same time. Don't be like me, don't expect others to reciprocate back exactly what you're giving them because Often they can't, they're so hungry for approval and support and encouragement and love. They're just sucking it up like the top of the line vacuum cleaner. They can't wait to get more and more and more. And maybe eventually they'll finally fill their cup enough to go, ah, oh, what's going on with you.

Elaine Starling: 00:05:24

But it's not going to be top of mind for them. And that's okay. It's totally okay. So, let's take a second to activate abundance because unconditional love really is unconditional. So let's celebrate in advance that you have total control over all the love, all the validation, all the encouragement, all those things that you want to feel, you get to feel it every time you give it. How awesome is that? That's fabulous. Okay, that's so really, that's step one. Step two, acknowledge how you feel. Because you're gonna run into this the same way I did, right, you'll be in the middle of a fabulous conversation, and you're giving and giving and giving and giving and giving an you'll think, oh, my gosh, when do I get something back. It's just like a one way street. And I'm getting tired. So just be aware that that is likely to happen, acknowledge that it's likely to happen. Because if you know what to expect in advance, you can do something about it. Now, the third thing is to appreciate the difference you can have in your life, when you realize you don't need that external validation. What you are giving is what you're receiving. Yeah. And you're receiving it three times. Because first, you're imagining these wonderful things that are happening for this person, you're in the process of activating abundance for them. So you get to think about what that looks like for them, and then bring it into your heart and wrap it with tons of love. That's the second time you get to experience it. And then you get to share it. And that's the third time you get to experience it. So every single thing you do for someone else, you get three times how cool is that? That's pretty much rocks in my book. Okay, so then step four is activate abundance. This is where you just get in the groove with being love in every moment. Because when you are being love, you are being love for yourself. At the same time that you're being love for someone else. It's a twofer. You get to have your cake and eat it too. So why not pick out on love, it's a great place to be. Alright, and then step five, celebrate again. Because when you're in this process, and you are coming from a space of everything you give is something you receive three times over automatically. And then every once in a while there's a bonus where it comes from somebody else and you weren't expecting it. You're not depending on it. You're safe and comfortable in validating yourself and loving yourself. Oh man, how cool is that? I just love how strong you are, how capable you are, how valuable you are. Because remember an earlier episode I talked about the three degrees of influence rule and everything you think, feel say and do ripples out. Three levels away from you. So just imagine you showing up as the unconditional love that you truly are. You're changing the world honey. cool deal. This is Elaine Starling. Thank

TAJ Intro/Outro: 00:08:53

you so much for joining me for the abundance journey.

Elaine Starling: 00:08:56

I look forward to seeing you next time.