Overcoming Overwhelm - Dr. Heather Tucker

TAJ Intro/Outro: 00:00:10

The Abundance Journey explores all the ways abundance shows up to help you expand the abundance you embody Express and experience as your journey unfolds.

Elaine Starling: 00:00:28

Welcome this is Elaine Starling, the abundance ambassador and the host of the abundance journey, podcast and video show. Surprise. That's where we are. And I'm so psyched because I always bring the best people for you to meet. I love hanging out with high vibe people, people who get it, people who are empowering and uplifting, and really help you experience a better life and enjoy more abundance in all ways in your life. And that's why it was so important to me to make sure that you get a chance to meet Dr. Heather Tucker. This lady is amazing. Let me tell you just a little bit about Dr. Heather because she she just blew me away. Dr. Heather is the founder and CEO of another level living. It's the only professional training and coaching company that produces deep, powerful transformations for entrepreneurs world wide, who want to overcome great fear and stand in their power unshakable so they can master communication and relationships, both in business and in life with grace and ease. She's a master business and life harmony trainer, speaker and coach, Dr. Heather guides her clients in achieving total success and victory by using really easy strategies that support her clients in working smarter, stressing less increasing their energy and expanding their capacity to receive abundance. Doesn't she sound like somebody we need to talk to? That's what I thought. Dr. Heather, welcome. I'm so glad you could join us today.

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:02:01

Oh, Elaine, I'm so happy to be here. Thanks so much for having me. Oh, what a beautiful topic and time I love all things abundant.

Elaine Starling: 00:02:08

So I'm having absolutely abundance, rocks, abundance is everything. And we are abundance itself. So I always have to start with this question. What got you started doing this? Why are you so passionate about what you're doing to support entrepreneurs?

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:02:25

Wow, so good. You know, when I went into the entrepreneurship world, maybe about eight years ago, I had no idea that it was like a whole new arena of things, I had to learn things that I had to overcome things I had to really experience in order to step into all that I'm called to be and do. And it takes a while it's like an art, it's like entrepreneurship is like birthing a baby, right? You have this idea, and then how to be able to manifest it. And I was well aware of all the battles and obstacles that entrepreneurs are facing. You know, even before then, when I was working for the army, I was working in higher education, I was seeing all these people stressed out, stressed out overwhelmed, not really excited about what they're doing and their purpose. And there was just a level of dissatisfaction and unhappiness. And I'm like, there has to be a better way to live a life of purpose, passion and prosperity, without the overwhelm without the chaos without the the stress where you feel like, you know, you're in it by yourself. No one understands how you feel, right. And the reality is like, sometimes we think that we're alone, but we're never alone. There's so many people that understand and can relate to the things that we experience. And so the more that I started talking with entrepreneurs, especially coaches, I will see these commonalities of the things that they're struggling with. And I'm like, you know, if I can overcome these things, and I see I'm guiding other people overcome these things, I'm recognizing that anyone can overcome anything to be able to step into all that they're called to be. And so that's really what led to it is like to help people know that we're literally unstoppable, especially moving when you reclaim the power of our mind, our body and our soul. There's, in our way,

Elaine Starling: 00:04:17

that is so true. And you know, it's really interesting, I have a similar transition from a regular full time job into being an entrepreneur. And when you're an entrepreneur, it's just a totally different approach. It's a different mindset. It's a different, you have to figure out how to acknowledge yourself and how to self motivate. And it is really easy to get trapped in that feeling like you're all alone, and nobody understands what you're doing. So I want to ask you another question, Dr. Heather, because a lot of people have different definitions for abundance. So given the kind of work that you do, and I know that you also talk about an abundance with your people. How do you define abundance?

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:05:00

Wow, you know, what's coming to me is that abundance is about creating peace on all sides of life, it's so easy to focus on the things that we're good at, like, for me, career, you know, like those things, but it's hard to be able to focus and actually pay attention and give it to the to the things that are a little more difficult, like relationships, like health, like family, like friends, like all of these different things. And what I'm learning is that everything is an extension of us. So how we go is how everything goes. The reality is that abundance is about peace on all sides, but also prosperity on all sides, becoming the change that we wish to see in the world and watching the world around this change. Because we're the captain of our ship, or the master of our feet. And the world is our oyster, there's so much limitations are we even put limitations on ourselves. Abundance is recognizing that there are no limits, you can actually become limitless, you can actually be able to tap into something even greater than what you could have ever experienced that are in the five.

Elaine Starling: 00:06:09

Yes, that is so true. I want to I want to just catch you on that, because that was so well put, that was so vital. And I want to make sure that people understand that distinction. Because it's a really important distinction for people to get and own. And I think it's really easy for us to lose sight of that, you know, we tend to compartmentalize, we tend to try to say, okay, my business is over here, my family's over here, my health and well being is over here. And then and then and now. They're all connected. And there's one uniting point for all of that stuff, and it happens to be you. You are the abundance that has to show up for all of those other places to be abundant. So yeah, thank you so much for calling that out. Because that was that was very, very important insight. So I also want to ask you, we all deal with certain challenges, all of us, what is one of the most common challenges that you see, when you start working with someone? What what are they struggling with? What is that issue that's holding them back?

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:07:13

Wow, the biggest thing is overwhelm, overwhelm, stress, you know, 99% of all diseases are stress related. And what happens is we tend to take on so much so I especially, for example, like I work with a lot of women, and they're dealing with families, they're dealing with their spouses, they're dealing with their children, and everybody is pulling for their attention. It's like difficult for them to say, Oh, well, I need some time to, or what about me, it's like is this this thing about we tend to put ourselves on the back burner, even as when we're called to be of service to the world, other people, we can put our clients and everyone else before ourselves. So that's one of the biggest challenges that I see. And it's interesting, because that was, I'm gonna say me too, because it's so easy to give, give, give and then feel depleted. So a lot of times people come to me and there's low energy, there's a lot of overwhelm, there's depletion, which leads to the lack of motivation, the Lassa, lack of passion, they lose heart, they lose focus on what they're doing, they can be get so busy with all the doing, they don't really know how to be, and it's fine are being work that makes the doing much more effortless. So true. Yeah.

Elaine Starling: 00:08:35

Yeah, I love that. I really love what you're saying, because it's so true. One of the Five Love Languages is doing things for other people. And especially if you've got kids, or you're the expert in something, and it just feels like well, if I just do it, I'll get it done faster, and to have to teach them how to do is gonna take too long. Yeah, it's, it's really easy to fall into that trap of No, I'm needed everywhere, and I have to do everything. And then of course, we get overwhelmed and stressed out. So what is that internal shift that has to happen? For us to come overcome that barrier of thinking that we have to do everything? What do we have to change,

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:09:19

recognizing that self care is not selfish. And it's actually needed. So therefore you can give from your overflow. A lot of it's interesting, because a lot of times there's this guilt of, well, if I take care of myself, then I'm neglecting other people what actually is quite the opposite. The more that you take care of yourself, the more you can be of service to all those around you. And the more that you can be able to force them to pay attention to their own life purpose. See, a lot of times we can take on other people's stuff we can take on other people's energy, their emotions, their limitations, and the reality is you have To be able to recognize what's yours to carry and what's not. Right, what's yours to let go of and what's not. And the reality is in that we can lose ourselves, we lose heart. So how to be able to create that rejuvenated passion, that being that manifesting generator that I think we all really have the ability to be with, from a place of ease and grace as compared to applications. A lot of that has to do with like, the mind, you know, one of the biggest lessons that I learned because it was so easy to be busy, right? We think that when we're busy, that we're productive, but when we're too busy, we missed off. And sometimes the most important things we lose in the busyness. So that ability to really take the pressure off, like our mind can only process a really small fraction of all the stuff that's coming to us. And so when I recognize that I'm like, Oh, how am I creating overwhelm in my own world, so and then how to break free from that. And either I mean, even like little things like social media, scrolling on social media all day. I know several people who live on social media, I'm like, you're living your life, but by looking at so many other people's snapshots of life, that are really just a snapshot and have nothing to do with everything that is, and then you're losing yourself in that.

Elaine Starling: 00:11:33

That is so true. That is so true. Yeah, I just want to re emphasize something that you were saying, because it really sparked something that I talk about a lot, which is this issue of trust, one of the most, you know, we think that we're being loving by doing all these things for people. But in reality, what we're showing them is that we don't trust them to do it. We don't, that's why we want to do it ourselves. That's why we take on too much. And yet one of the most profound ways that we can be loving, is to trust someone else to go ahead and do it. And you know, what, if they make a mistake, it's not the end of the world. It's okay. Right? It's okay, if your kid wears mismatched clothes to school, if it's really important, they'll figure it out. They won't do it again, right? Or it's okay to make mistakes. There are a lot of things where we can be safe, it's safe to make mistakes. And I think so often, especially as an entrepreneur, we're we're in charge of everything, and we have to control everything, and we have to make sure everything's perfect. Before anything can happen. No wonder we get overwhelmed. No wonder we get overloaded. It's just Whoo. So I do want to ask you, because there's so many different things that you do. And you're really adept at working with coaches in particular, what's your favorite way to help other people experience more abundance in their life?

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:12:53

So so I'm gonna ask that quote, answer that question, because as a part of that you had talked about what leads to the overwhelm overwhelm that root cause is that perfectionism isn't everything has to be perfect before we actually go, No, you just got to put it out there. And it's okay to be perfectly imperfect. No one is perfect. We are human beings, right? We also make mistakes we often fall short is when we own those things that okay, I may not be good at this, but you know, I'm gonna figure it out. Or maybe I can get some support or someone else to help me help me figure it out. So that perfectionism leads to procrastination leads to poverty leads to paralysis from actually stepping into your calling. And your question about repeat your question, so I make sure I got her your

Elaine Starling: 00:13:43

favorite way to help others experience abundance,

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:13:46

oh, my favorite way to help other people experience abundance is actually supporting them and releasing past based negative emotions, and energy. So I'm actually really, really good at overcoming the things that they perceive as a loss and seeing the gains. Like, I did a lot of grief work I did a lot of, especially during this pandemic and everything. Because there was so much difficulty there was so much heaviness. And the reality is when we take that pressure off our mind, body and soul, you know, we have a three step process here and another level living lean in, let go and leap forward. And the letting go is the hardest part for people, when they're able to let go of all of this past base stuff they're able to see and be in the present moment. So therefore, they are not so inundated by what's happened, or what could happen. Like the past the future brings anxiety and the past will like have them live in this perpetual Well, if it didn't work out, then it's never gonna work out. Right. So their biggest gift is being present and showing them how to be able to live in that presence flow. That being still All and knowing that they're totally loved, valued and appreciated and supported. And so they can experience and see all the army or support that they have here on Earth, as well as supporting heaven above. There's no better gift than that. And they're able to see the blessings and miracles that happen each and every single day. And, you know, so many beliefs, right, so many beliefs about time, about money about love, that actually prevent people from actually experiencing that abundance, so on how to get them, peace with time, create time, money, and emotional freedom, peace with money, I'm allowing it to be and receiving peace was love and allowing me to be able to receive that to, then it's just freedom. On the other side of all fears for Yeah,

Elaine Starling: 00:15:50

yeah, I love that. I love that. So basically, the your favorite way to help others experience abundance is to give them freedom from the past and from the future, so they can be fully present. I love that. I love that. Thank you. Thank you. And thanks for doing that. Because yeah, that is a huge burden. And that's a big part of why we feel so overwhelmed, and so stuck. And when we can let go of that, and really savor the present moment, and partner with the divine in what we're doing. They were on fire. We're having fun. That's awesome. So you know, it's really funny, it doesn't matter who you talk to you, it doesn't matter what you want to accomplish, you'd really like to have it like now, in fact, yesterday would be even better. But now it'd be really great. And sadly, things rarely show up. Like right now, there's a process and a system that we have to go through, what's a baby step that we need to look at, that we need to be aware of that shows us we're on the right track.

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:16:49

The word is gratitude, ah, gratitude for all schools. You know, so many people want all these things. And so many people think that it should be right now there's no patience, gratitude and patience. So patient perseverance on the path, you know, everything is happening, perfect timing. Whereas, you know, our timing is totally different than God's timing, totally different. And that patient perseverance on the path is so powerful, because it's not now patience doesn't mean just not doing anything, right. It some people are like, Oh, my gosh, we're just waiting on God to move well, while you're waiting on God to move, he's waiting on you to move. So you do the things that you can do. And just know that energy, that effort eventually will manifest, it'll come, like so many entrepreneurs get you have 95% of businesses fail within the first couple of years, because they give up right before the gold, or it's too hard. And I want to throw in the towel. But if you can have gratitude, you know, a lot of times so that wanting to give up leads to depression, it leads to sadness, it leads to fear of failure, right? Well, you know, one of the things we talked about here is that there's no such thing as failure, there's only feedback. So what is that telling you, when you step into gratitude and be grateful for all that is right at gratitude and depression cannot exist in the same space?

Elaine Starling: 00:18:20

Very true. Very true. I want

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:18:23

to share with you something that's actually really interesting, Elaine, so So one of the biggest things that I'm so powerful that I have learned, like, Okay, what is what are people's two biggest fears? One is public speaking. And the other one is death, right. And so there's such this fear of loss, even when someone passes on, that can be so heavy that that they forget about all or the kid even really experienced and feel all of the lessons and all the positive memories and all of the, the learnings and experiences that they have with that person, because it can bring so much sadness. And there's one technique that I walk people through was to be able to get peace with the laws and see everything that you've gained, and be able to see that you know, what, death is not really the end, it's just a new beginning as a transition is, and sometimes the people who have passed on, they actually can support us so much more. Yes. That being here. Absolutely. You absolutely. Yeah. And it's so interesting, because like even on Facebook, you know, I posted my grandmother, she was she just passed away like last last month last week. And we have her funeral, literally on Saturday, and I shared you know, her home going and I shared her obituary, and I was like, you know, and I got all these comments back right away. It was like one of the most common thing was like because I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry for that. I'm so sorry for that. And yes, it's okay to agree was okay to go through these processes of grief. But sometimes we can get stuck there. Mm hmm. focus on the things that we can control. The things that we can't control, we have to be able to let go. Yeah. And I'm like, I want to tell people, thank you. I'm not in the morning. I'm

Elaine Starling: 00:20:13

Dr. Heather, I want to interject right here because, you know, I had a stroke. And during my stroke, I had a conversation with our higher power, and I got a complete download on how everything works. And you're absolutely right. Death from physicality, is a transition to a higher level of learning. And the best analogy I've been able to come up with is kind of like the difference between kindergarten and first grade, your kindergarten we have naptime. First grade, there's no more naptime, home or physical, we have a body. And when we're not physical, we don't have a body. But there's still a whole lot more. We're still learning and growing. And yes, they can get in touch with us. My parents and my in laws have passed and they send me messages all the time, my dad would freak out about me getting on the freeway merging on the freeway, he was always anxious about the merging on the freeway, he clear space for me, every single time I have to get on the freeway, he clear space for me, I'm like, Thanks, Dad, really appreciate it. Yeah, they are there with you. It's up to us to pay attention and notice what's working. And the other thing that I found really interesting, a lot of the grief that we experience when someone passes, it's kind of funny, it's actually a little, this isn't a good way to say this. It's a little bit of jealousy, because we've been physical many times in the past, and we will be physical many times in the future. And we remember, there's a subconscious part of us that remembers what they're up to. And all the fun they're having. It's like, I didn't get invited to the party. Right, there's, there's a little bit of that going on. And so it is kind of it, I totally get where you're coming from. Because when my parents passed, of course, I miss not being able to give them a hug or speak to them face to face, of course. And at the same time, I'm happy for them, because they're experiencing more and they're growing more, and they're able to support me in different ways. So yeah, it's, you know, it's all good. No matter what situation you're in. It's all good. It's all there to serve you. It's all there to bless you. So thank you for bringing that in. And I want to add my condolences to your grandmother's passing and congratulations. Yeah. Fun. Yeah.

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:22:29

As soon as the email came through, like I started thinking at all, you know, I shouldn't be sad. And then I never heard say, What the heck are you sad for, you know, as good new guy got an awesome relationship, you know where I'm at, you know what? I'm gonna see you again, just remember what I taught you? Yeah, I'm like, and then when I pulled up to the funeral, I heard it because I was gonna basically be able to see your body and had a little mini wait before the funeral. She's like, just remember, I'm not gonna look like what I used to. And I'm like, oh, okay, you know, so they're with you all the time. Yes, they are. Yes, they are more in tune and paid attention to that innate wisdom, and really got out of our own way, we are able to have those connections and be able to see them on a deeper level. For some of you who are listening, this may or may not make sense. But I know that it's easy to get stuck in grief. And I'm here to tell you on the other side of that there's so much power and freedom and knowing that you know what you just add to your army above. They're supporting you here on your journey. So no need to be jealous. Like,

Elaine Starling: 00:23:31

it's not a good analogy. It's

Unknown: 00:23:32

not a good description. But there is that little that's like, God, it's so good.

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:23:39

It's amazing why being present with the people who are here when you can forgiving often, how many times we hold grudges on people. And I know we want to it's so easy. It feels good to hold a grudge. It feels good not to forgive like I'm right in what I'm saying. Right. But at the end of the day, tomorrow's not promised for anyone, not even you. So creating that peace within automatically manifest a peace with other people. And there's so much more to life. People aren't their behaviors. We're all just doing the best that we can. So true.

Elaine Starling: 00:24:13

Dr. Heather, you've been so generous with us today. And I know we were talking a little bit before we started the interview about a free gift that you have for the audience. Could you tell us a little bit about that?

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:24:23

Oh, yes. So I actually have an awesome free gift for you. It's on how to use your story to attract more clients and touch more hearts. Your hero's journey is the connection. So all the things that you've gone through all the things you've experienced, you may have said, Why me what in the world, right? And the reality is, if we can shift that process to seeing how things are happening for you, like maybe you've gone through some of these things, and then yes, they may have sucked, but they could have also been to be able to support someone else on their journey who might not know how to get through or overcome some of the similar situations that you've gone through. So your story, your hero's journey, you are a hero each and every one of us are. And that is the connection to what you're called to do. Maybe you're called to share your story, to be an author to be a speaker to express all the difficulties. So somebody could be like, Oh, my gosh, they made it. Maybe there's hope for me to

Elaine Starling: 00:25:27

Yeah, you know, yeah, that's so true. And I really love what you're saying. Because one of the things I think a lot of entrepreneurs struggle with, is they think they have to be perfect, right? They shouldn't show any vulnerability, never let them see you sweat, right, that whole thing. And in reality, you are at your strongest and your most compelling when you are willing to be vulnerable when you are willing to share your fails when you have that face plant. Because we've all been there. We've all done that. We know what that feels like. We know how embarrassing that is, we know how frustrating that is, we know how devastating that is. And your client has probably been in exactly that space, if not in that space right now. And that you have been there before, and you made it to the other side, you are their beacon of hope you are much more relatable, you're somebody they can understand and really connect with in a much deeper way. So never be afraid to share your story. It's a really, really valuable. It's one of the reasons why I always ask people at the very beginning of my interview, why are you so confused? Why are you so excited about what you're doing? What's your why story, what got you here, because usually, it's because they struggled with something and they had to overcome it. And it makes them so relatable for my audience. It's really, really valuable. Thank you for bringing that in. That's so powerful, I can't wait to download it myself and go through it. Now one of the things we always do is we turn the tables on our guests, because everybody here at the abundance journey knows, the best way to receive is to make sure you're giving. So what can we do to support you,

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:27:09

ah, you know, one of the things that I would love for you to share. So, so I talk about coaching, right, and we teach a certified coaches here, I certify about 400 coaches, I know the transformation, you as a coach yourself, you know, the ability and the possibility of what coaching can bring, we actually brought our put out a book on the power of coaching the first volume, it was 12 authors who had put in for this book. And the message is letting know that coaching is a really positive avenue for hope for healing, for transformation, for bridging the gap from where you are to where you want to be to make sure that you're totally supported and achieving your goals and dreams. And you'll be able to see some of the stories of what some of these coaches have gone through. And you might even find that you might be who's listening, called to be a coach as well. I would love for you to be able to share that and let people know about that book. Because it's so very powerful and, and the ripple in a way that is going to impact I just can't even imagine how far it's gonna go.

Elaine Starling: 00:28:22

Okay, great. Well, I want to make sure that I have a link to the book and I'll put both the link to your free gift and the link to your book in the show notes where everybody can find it so that we can support you. Okay, that's great. It's Dr. Heather, this has been so fabulous. I could keep you here all day long. But I'm going to take a break and then we're going to activate abundance. We'll be right back.

Dr. Heather Tucker: 00:28:45

Thank you.

Elaine Starling: 00:28:50

Hey, I want I just love that conversation with Dr. Heather Tucker. Isn't she amazing? Love her. She's such an articulate, compelling, compassionate woman. I love meeting heart centered people like that who really try to make a difference for other people makes all the difference in the world. So we're going to activate abundance now. And I love to start by celebrating in advance, I celebrate that I've got this connection with a high vibe person, somebody who really gets it, who's very compassionate, compelling and caring, she makes a difference in everything she does. And when you connect your energy to hers and mine, it lifts you automatically. So you start from a much higher level than you would just on your own. So celebrate that you've got that connection. You've met Dr. Heather Tucker. And now you're in a completely different space than you were before. So that's step one, celebrating events. Step two, acknowledge something you learned during the interview that can make a difference in your life. And I want to acknowledge she had such so many great points. You know, it's hard to pick just one but I took lots of notes. And the one that really stood out for me is this i idea that we've got to give up the past and give up the future and just stay in the present, this is where the power is. And whenever we find ourselves kind of circling the drain 99% of the time, it's because we're focusing on the past or focusing on the future, and we're not in the present. That was a really great reminder. And I so appreciate that. So that's what I want to acknowledge is stay present, your power is in the present. So the third step is we're going to appreciate the difference that can make in our lives. Well, if I'm wasting 99% of my time, and that's what's getting me into this negative space, pool game, being able to get rid of that, oh, my gosh, I feel better, I'm more productive. I'm focused on the things that matter. Yeah, I can appreciate a lot about staying present instead of focused on the past or the future. That's a brilliant approach. Step four, we're going to activate abundance. How do we do that? We either put it in the calendar and schedule it. Or we give ourselves a mental trigger of what we're going to do when something happens. So for me, next time, I find myself kind of going to the dark side, because we talk about what are you paying attention to? Are you paying attention to what is not working? Oh? Or are you paying attention? What is working and both what is not and what is are happening at the exact same moment, it's a choice. We get to choose which one we're going to focus on. So I'm going to focus on what is working in the moment. And that's going to help me stay present. Huge, huge difference for me. Okay, step five, celebrating God, you just learned something really powerful. This can make a massive difference in your life. When you choose to use it. You're not alone. You're connected to Dr. Heather Tucker and to me, we have your back you're connected to the entire abundance, Journey family. We are all very high vibe people. So you're coming at life from a totally different level than most people do. Congratulations. This is Elaine Starling. It's been a ton of fun. I can't wait to see you for the next abundance journey.