Stop Stopping Yourself - Jackie Cote

TAJ Intro/Outro: 00:00:07

Welcome to The Abundance Journey, the show that helps spiritual entrepreneurs create an abundance mindset that accelerates revenue. Secretly, every few experience your life is actually abundance. Once you understand how to activate abundance, you find yourself in flow of your business and clients. So it's easy to create the revenue you want. The abundance journey is the only show that activates abundance for you. So you enjoy rapid results in your business. Here's your host, the abundance ambassador, Elaine Starling.

Elaine Starling: 00:00:38

So I've got a question for you. What is secretly stopping you in your life or in your business? This is Elaine Starling, the abundance ambassador and the host of the abundance Journey podcast and video show. And I am super excited to talk with you more about this question because I've got the secret sauce here today. Jackie Cote is a freedom mentor. She's a speaker and an RV adventurist who helps hyper driven successful people who already have money and success. But they don't have a life they love. After working with Jackie they learned how to awaken and empower and own the powerful leader that's within so they can create the life they truly desire a life that is filled with freedom, adventure, and love, as well as money and success. Everything that they want is there in their life. Jackie, welcome to the abundance journey.

Jackie Cote: 00:01:37

Thank you so much for having me, Elaine, I am so excited to be with you today. And I need you to introduce me everywhere I go by the way.

Elaine Starling: 00:01:46

Just take me away in your pocket. Yeah, congrats. You're off that. Epic. You're really passionate about this. So I love your passion. I love where you're coming from. What got you started here? Why are you so committed to helping people experience the fullness of their lives?

Jackie Cote: 00:02:05

That's a great question. You know, I come from 30 years of the restaurant industry, I did what I was supposed to do and got a good job and benefits and all the other stuff. Try that in teaching. And within a year I was like, No, God bless all the teachers here amazing. In the restaurant industry, the thing I loved was that mentoring and coaching and helping people get to that next level, I'd hold that gift a belief for them until they got to the next level and promoted 300 plus people in my career. But it lacks this, there's this piece of freedom that I wanted of like money freedom I wanted to build to make more money. But then someone told me only worth this. I wanted to have more time off, but it was like a week at a time. And I've been working since I was 14 and never took more than a week off. And what's crazy is I'm like the 38th, the 30th year and I say that now. And I was like gosh, but I don't feel over 30. But the 30th year of the job that I was with actually let me go. And it was one of those pivotal moments. I was like, Okay, you get upset for a minute, but then I felt all this relief. Because I have seen the possibility two months earlier of this whole coaching industry thing like this thing of I don't know about you, but I only thought football coach soccer coach, initially, right? I was like, I don't know what coaching is. And so when I got to when I saw this magical world, I was like I can do everything that I'm really good at, in my own terms, like, on my own schedule, make what I desire to make, and if I have that control, it blew my mind. And then two months later, after finding it, I got fired. And when I got fired, I had this I was living in this predictable world. And I had this possibility world that I was aware of. And that's what kicked off the freedom journey. And and I've always been I don't know, but I've always been that freedom kid like, break out of the box didn't want to live at home, I was the only kid who left jersey, all that and so I see up now I look back at such a pattern my whole life of like, I want more I want more freedom, but I tried to find it I just wasn't in it didn't have the right opportunity or vehicle or or the vision and I'm big on vision because I didn't have the vision of possibility in front of me and an introduce me that that falling into the coaching world introduced me to the possibility of freedom.

Elaine Starling: 00:04:21

And isn't that what we all want? Most? Right? We really do and so not to leave you but obviously this is a talk about the abundance journey and everybody defines abundance a little bit differently. So when you think about abundance, and you're working with your clients, they've already got the money the money is not the issue. The life is the issue. So how would you define abundance as you're working with your clients? What do they want? So

Jackie Cote: 00:04:49

abundance, you know, it's funny, I just said that I wanted more time freedom. I wanted more money, freedom and location freedom. But it all came down to what I discovered and then You know, almost most of my clients discovers that that Inner Inner Inner abundance, the inner self love the inner abundance of being able to treat yourself with respect, speak to yourself with respect, think about yourself with respect and love and, and come from to the point where I got it tattooed on my arm to come from the place of love. And it says what would love do on my wrist? Whenever I think about how am I going to love myself more, respect myself more, like raise my vibe more, it all comes from within?

Elaine Starling: 00:05:31

I love that. I love that. I'm taking notes. Because this is so good. I hope everybody who's listening or watching is taking notes too. Because? Absolutely, absolutely. It's that inner abundance. If you hate yourself, you're gonna hate your life just guaranteed. That's that's like, that's a no brainer. So what what is one of I think I've kind of said it a little bit, but I want your words. So we don't know what we don't know, right? We're going along, we're just working as hard as we can head down, keep the momentum going. And eventually we hit burnout or we hit a wall. And rather than wait until the stuff hits the fan, what is a sign that you've noticed with your clients? What's an earlier sign before we get that? That it's time to take another look, it's time to get a fresh vantage point.

Jackie Cote: 00:06:32

So again, like it everything that I teach in my mentor came from my own personal story, right? And there's this feeling of pressure the statement I asked myself now I said, Mike, this is coming from a place of pressure or pleasure. And I stand in that moment. And because there's this, there's this resistance that we feel to whatever we're doing and throughout our life, and yet we still push through because we think that's what we should be doing what we're supposed to be doing what we need to be doing, what we're expected to be doing. And, and what when we can get closer to recognizing closer to ourselves and more in tune with ourselves and loving ourselves. When I started with that, we start to recognize and be aware of this, this this this pressure of of this does not bring joy does not bring love does not bring pleasure. And when we can and this is why I mentioned the vision earlier, it's so important to have the vision of where you want to go what you really want to experience. But I gotta tell you, and you probably know like you've experienced this the hardest part for people to like really start like really step into a relief to go, Well, what do you want for your future? Oh, no, you know, you get this like stuck, like, so that's what I'm really good at helping people pull out and have fun and pleasure. But when I feel a resistance, I sit and go, Is this a resistance? Because I'm scared. And it's really what I want to do? Or is it a resistance because it's just not aligned with me. It's

Elaine Starling: 00:07:55

just so brilliant. That is so wrong, I just want to anchor that in for a second. Because it's so important to understand that you are an unlimited being the Divine is constantly challenging you to expand and grow. And so when the stuff hits the fan, that is not a you failed. Inside, it's time to grow again, honey, you did such a good job you've graduated. And now you have a new little puzzle for you to play with. Because we believe in you. And we know you can do this rock on. But we don't always tend to take that perspective on it. And yeah, absolutely. You have to look back at your vision for yourself and your own skills and gifts and what lights you up, and how you can best serve others and make sure that this growth opportunity is truly going to help you expand in that way towards your vision. Because you're here to do great things greater than you can imagine. And it's so important to have that imagination and be open to the guidance that the Divine is sending your way. You might not think that you're incredible public speaker or that you have something to share on stage and the Divine might slip. Yeah, quickie.

Jackie Cote: 00:09:03

And to me, that's a totally. And what I love that you just said is I don't know if you notice, but each one of us and everything we're saying says you back to you, you and that's really it all comes from internally because very much time very much we're looking for that external thing to satisfy that internal need of love, safety and belonging, when you can get back to this pure level of love seeking belonging within you and know that nothing external can ever fulfill that for you. That is that is that is that is magical.

Elaine Starling: 00:09:43

Yes, it absolutely is. And this is one of the questions I always ask but it's so appropriate to ask you Jackie because there's always something inside that has to change before our outside world can change. So when you're working with people, you've had a lot of experience and you're working with people who are real least successful financially, but what has to shift inside, so that they can experience their life in a whole new way.

Jackie Cote: 00:10:09

And I'm gonna go back to the answer again of what has to shift is their, their loving of themselves, their appreciation for who they are, and understanding that their own magic. You know, I like to say there's a lot of noise out there, especially with how much you know internet like instant gratification, all the things and and we're blessed with all of that, you know, we're blessed to have that at our access. In the end, you still have to come back to you and decide what's aligned with you, I say, we'll take what you like and leave the rest is what I love to say. And really continue to just build internally who you are, I call it awaken empower. No, we first got to awaken that that Inner Inner Goddess leader, whatever word aligns with you. But then you want to empower the heck out of her him. And then you want to own the heck out of that own, like, like, like proudly to impact the world. So when you go through that, it's, that's, that's the magic again,

Elaine Starling: 00:11:10

it's amazing. And I love that three step thing. So you know, one of the challenges that I know everybody deals with is when we see that we need something, we want it yesterday, you know, or like right now. Jackie, handed over that nobody answered. So. But that's not how life happens. So right what what's like a little baby step that we could be paying attention to, that will give us that awareness that we're on the right track that we're making progress, we're starting to make the shift we need to make into more self love. And so um,

Jackie Cote: 00:11:48

I just, I just thought of so many things, and they all came together. At one I forgot which one I wanted to tell you. But there's so many things that come up when you ask a question. One of the things in the beginning there, the one of the biggest shifts for me was going from stepping into trust and surrender. So trusting the front end process, and I kind of St Mary the front end process and divorce the results. There's this trusting and surrendering. And there was a pivot point where I was trying to do all the things and do all the things that come from an employee mentality. And that was like not seeing the results. And I'm not wasn't receiving all things. Because it was a do have mentality. And what I forgot to do is be I didn't know means I forgot, I didn't know. And that's why I had a coach in my world who helped me learn how to be how to be present in the moment how to spend time with me how to like not do and that is one small, yet massive step that changed. She even challenged me at one point, she said, I want you to do nothing next month. And she wouldn't let me schedule anything on my calendar beyond what I already had on it. And I was like, freaking out. And she's like, well, you have stuff on the calendar, but you'd like to pack it out, like all over the place. I was like, I'm not like I'm not gonna make any money. The ironic thing Elena is I wasn't making money at that point. It was the beginning of my career, right? And I was still like, and I made more money than I made three times when I made the month before and she's like, let's try it again. And this taught me trust, right? So it's like, okay, but let's like, what do I do with all this time, and she's like, you're gonna go for walks, you're gonna play with your dog, you're gonna take a bath, you're going to listen to music call a friend. I was like, but don't have to do things, right. And then it just the next month, and I made a couple 1000 more in the next month. So like it increased by 2000 each month for three months straight. And I was like, Alright, fine. You're right.

Elaine Starling: 00:13:35

Oh, I never. That is so funny. Jackie, I love your example. So I love your stories. You very generously offered a free gift to the audience. And I promise I'll include it the link in the show notes. Could you describe a little bit about your free gift? Definitely.

Jackie Cote: 00:13:54

I don't know about you. But it's called intentional goal setting. And when I was in corporate America, you set goals by like Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, time sensitive, very structured. But there was always something missing for me. And I discovered it after I left that world, I discovered that the intention to the goal was never really there. And what I mean by intention, it's like, what are you going to feel? What are you going to smell? What are you gonna taste? What are you going to experience? How are you going to, like, what's the journey like to the goal because again, the goal is not going to make you happy. That's an external thing. That's just a byproduct of the journey. And I will in this video, in this freebies, I have this video of walking you through that and how to how to set intentional goals have that extra piece that makes it way more fun to get to the goal. And then when you get to the goal, you receive it so fully because you've enjoyed the whole process. So you already felt successful from day one, because along the journey you're feeling the whole experience to the external thing that you desire to have in your life. Oh, I

Elaine Starling: 00:14:52

love that. I so love that. And Jackie, I don't know if you've had a chance to listen to my TED talk or watch my TED Talk. But it's called Abundance as a choice. And things that I talk about is your intention is how you want to feel in the present moment. And I actually talked about attention first and then intention, your attention, what you focus on and intention, how you want to feel. But actually how you want to feel, determines what you focus on. Intention drives everything else. So yeah, we are, you know, Sisters of another mother. So, yeah, I so love what you're talking about, I can't wait to watch your free video. That is amazing. So now one of the things that we do this a little different around here, we always turn the tables on our guests, because we know that when we give and we show up for you, is when we receive the most. So what can we do to support you, Jackie?

Jackie Cote: 00:15:45

Oh, gosh, I would love to first of all, it sounds really strange. I want to send people to a website or this and that, but come join me on Facebook. And I say that can be my friend. And because that's my digital diary. That's really where like, my whole life is out. And I'm here to inspire the world to want to pursue their next steps in their freedom life. So yes, come get the downloadable but then come join me in the Facebook world if you're in there and hang out with me because I like to have a lot of fun like I'm in Mexico right now with with with Kimberly and that crew. And this was the fifth trip I've taken an eight weeks member I never took a week off more than a week off and 30 years and traveled six different places in the last six to eight weeks. So well. You are a full time RV lover.

Elaine Starling: 00:16:31

A great job at modeling how you can have it all. So yeah, you are walking your talk honey. And I really appreciate you and I so have enjoyed chatting with you and connecting with you. I know we'll be talking a lot more later. Thank you for being on the show. But I want all the listeners and viewers to stay tuned because we are about to activate abundance is it any wonder that I absolutely adore Jackie call Jackie coat sorry, Jackie coat, she gets it. She gets it. It's an inside job. So I want to activate abundance with you because so much of what she said was absolutely brilliant. I want to take one thing and help you own it. And I'm going to model this for you so that you can activate abundance throughout your life after every conversation in every conversation. F after every meeting, activate abundance because this is how your life truly takes off. So step one is gratitude. I'm so grateful that I got a chance to chat with Jackie, this lady really understands it's an inside out job. It starts with your intention. And that drives everything else in your world and love where she's coming from. So yeah, I've said sisters from another mother, Ellen Jochen, she really gets it, there was a total mind meld there. And I'm really grateful that I got a chance to connect and see the world through her eyes because she's got a unique perspective that really adds value to my life. And I'm really excited to get to meet somebody like that. Very cool. Step two is acknowledge I want to pick one thing, just one really just want i i took notes. I'm like, I'm an overachiever. She has, she has so many great things to say, and I only get one. Well, I'm gonna say intentional goals. Because, yeah, I have struggled for years trying to write goals. And those smart goals just don't do a thing for me. I'm sorry. There's just, they're so flat, they're so lifeless. They don't do anything for me. And as soon as she said the missing ingredient is the intention. My heart just lit up. It was like kidney. So I'm definitely going to watch her video her free gift. I cannot wait to create intentional goals because that is going to shift everything. So step two is acknowledge something she said, That was a breakthrough for you. Step three, is appreciate the difference it can make in your life. And I hope you heard Jackie describing. When you have an intentional goal, you're already emotionally invested. You've already experienced the goal on an emotional level. So you've tapped into the divine, because it's the divine goal. The Divine wants you to feel love and happiness and joy, and expand the amount of love that's there. So when your goal is an intentional goal, it's aligned with the divine intentions to and that means the Divine is helping make everything happen. It's not all on your shoulders. Ooh, doesn't that feel better? Talk about playing with a higher crowd. Getting the divine peek over your shoulder and whispering in your ear all the time is a really fun space to come from. So yeah, it will make life a whole lot easier when I'm in full partnership with the divine because I've got an intentional goal. Yeah, I'm all in step four. We're going to activate abundance. That means I'm either going to assign a trigger to remind me to do something in the moment, or I'm going to put it on my calendar. Well, as it happens, I'm getting set to go out of town. I've got two conferences back to back that I'm attending, but I'm putting on my calendar. When I'm going to watch Jackie's video. It's that important to me. Coming up with intentional goals, not only am I going to assign enough time to watch her video, I am immediately going to create my intentional goals. And I'm going to brainstorm with friends who are accountability buddies, because they need intentional goals. And I need intangibles. And we hold each other accountable for honoring those intangibles. And besides, it's a whole lot more fun when you do it with friends, right? So that's my commitment to you and to Jackie, I am going to embrace this wholeheartedly. I'm putting it on my calendar, and I'm going to get this done. Step five, celebrate your progress. This is huge for me. It's so huge for me because being able to truly embrace my goals and achieve them effortlessly, wholeheartedly, joyfully. What a change. Man, I always resisted goal setting. It was such a trial, I hated having to try to come up with goals. It just seems so random and so unlikely. But now I get it. It's a whole different ballgame. Intentional goals are already manifested goals that you're aligning with the divine to help manifest. Of course, you're going to manifest your goals. It's like a no brainer. And the only thing that's kind of fun is often it's something even bigger and better than you could possibly imagine. Because the divine sees much bigger things for you than you can see. How cool is that? So I got so much out of Jackie's conversation today. I know you did too. And I hope that you also embrace this activation and take it on because I want your life to improve exponentially too. This is Elaine Starling. Thank you so much for joining us for the abundance journey and I'll see you on the next episode.